


As I leave you

by Spacecarrots



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Loss, M/M, Spoilers for RiD Ongoing Issue 33, The Transformers: Robots in Disguise (IDW), hella sad, if uz have read it u now im fucking dead inside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2358809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacecarrots/pseuds/Spacecarrots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILER ALERT: soooooo Slingshot is apparently "gone" and only "some" of the aerialbots are alive within Superion and SOOO i am just tramatozed and this is my way of dealing with it.<br/>Also this is like just after dark cybertrons finale bc i know blades was on the Lost Light in season 1 but idk if he's in season 2 w/e i hope this fic makes u as sad to read as it made me to write.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As I leave you

**Author's Note:**

> music rec: Forgiven by Alanis Morissette

The first thing, the very first thing, that looking back now made Blades feel a little guilty, was that his first thought was _he's joking_ and the laugh that had escaped him was an echo of past attempts at screwing with him. But the small crease in Hot spots forehelm and the way his bright smiling optics dimmed as if the effort of keeping them online was a crushing weight.

"Blades...I'm sorry..."

 _This is a joke_ , it had to be, just some cruel joke, revenge. They'd all thought Blades was gone-frag everybot had thought the lost light had destroyed all her passengers at lift off, Blades should have been dead. But this was just stupid. Anger boiler in Blades system, _little afthole probably thinks he can avoid me_.

"...Blades?"

"Where is he?"

"I don't think-"

" _Where is he?_ "

After a long moment of nervous glances it was Streetwise who decided to lead the way to a large tunnel heading underground and to a pare of large doors. Before he could enter however Streetwise grabbed his arm with the grip. A febble grip of a mech that had lost too many brothers, trying to hold on too tight but wavering, loose at the palm, caught between a futile attempt to keep him close and push the thought of closeness away. His voice was so soft and quiet, broken as he stared up at Blades with glassy tired optics.

"Blades, please before you go in y-you have to know-"

The unfortunate thing is that once a mech like Blades is on a path there is nothing that can be done to divert him. Streetwise's act did nothing but hold Blades in this suspended state of numb anger for a long second before the helicopter yanked his arm out of the mechs hold and pushed through the doors.

The doors lead to a vast room of suspended maintenance platforms and cranes all gathered around Omega Supreme and...another smaller, slimmer, brutally damage giant.

"What is this?" he spat scanning the room for the jet until from above he noticed the familiar detailing of what was left of this gargantuan's arm and slowly but surely Blades realised why everyone had been so hesitant about letting him see Slingshot.

"They were... in the wild when it happened...they just...merged...it was a self defence mechanism...apparently"

Streetwise was beside him as he spoke flatly through deep breaths and heavy optics. They'd all been like brothers to one another and though they knew death was an ocupational hazard this was something else. Something you would not wish on anyone

"Prowl and the constructicons- it-he-they t-tried to help but..."

"Is it dead?"

"no...some of them are alive but Blades Slingshot he-Blades?"

It came like a gust of cold air over his spark, freezing him from the inside out. Suddenly there was not enough air in the universe to breathe properly, not enough light to see clearly and every sound seemed to pass straight through him as Blades headed up iron steps to this things disheveled arm.

When you find an individual that you care for you are desperately protective of them. You would do anything within and beyond your power to protect them. It is true when they say that you would do anything, be anything just to be with them. In times of great headships, as times become more intense, as do our emotions. The side effect: we all find are own personal ways of protecting ourselves aswell. Blades' was fear, fear kept him alive so he welcome his fears and embraced the way they drove his systems to fight.

Slingshot. Slingshot...had always thought very little of himself, had always assumed that he was nothing more than the scraps of the universe and believed that he was not entitled to, and neither would be wanted by anybot, so he didn't indulge in the thought of people caring about him. When Blades had left for the lost light he had told himself that this was a way of protecting Slingshot from realising that Blades was not the fearless mech he had thought Blades to be. But now...Blades was hit with the realisation that that was a lie. He'd been running. Slingshot had become to close and like an elastic band had snapped back in on himself. Like a coward had disappeared at the first mention of commitment.

The arm...if it could be called that anymore, was barely anything more that exposed wiring, bare framework and crippled plaiting. Not an arm. Not a mech. Nothing but scrap...ironicall.

Hesitatingly Blades stretched out a steady servo and grazed it against the larger thumb of crumbling black servo. The metal was rough, corse and all too familiar. That was Slingshot.

This realisation took the form of a lump in his throat and everything became too sharp, too clear, to a point where every image that passed his optics could not be registered and he gasped for breath as his systems shook. The horror traveled from his throat and into his spark, constricting it, growing until the weight of it was too much and Blades fell no his knees. Crumpling in on himself Blades pulled in sharp sobs and brittle breaths. All his anger was gone and all was left with as this growing emptiness, regret and the lubricant that spilled from his optics and dripped over the edge of the platform.

Streetwise watched as Blades, a mech he knew to have laughed in the face of death, had now fallen in defeat of it. His chocked sobs filled the air and echoed around him. Streetwise reached out a servo to Blades shoulder, to offer what little comfort he could give, but Blades threw it away with a growl.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry"

"No! Go away!

"..."

"j-just...leave me alone..."

Blades voice was more of breath rather than a growl as his sobs quieted.

Streetwise knew not what he could do so he opted his last resort and pulled out a piece of paper from his storage. And hesitantly spoke.

"Every soldier is requested to write a letter from...from the grave upon deployment this was found among his belonging and its labeled for you."

Streetwise gently laid the envelope on the platform next to Blades and let his servo brush against Blades' briefly before leaving him be.

The letter seemed to burn a hole in his peripheral vision the scruffy earth parchment and messy scrawl of his name across the middle confirmed the sender. Wiping his faceplates and picking up the letter he sat legs dangling over the edge and opened it.

_Rotors,_

_If you're reading this then shit I guess they must have found someone to replace all this awesomeness and shovelled what was left of me off the ground and left a Slingshot sized hole in the world. For that I'm not gonna say sorry, I'm not gonna say_ _if only, I'm not gonna say well you should have seen that one coming because, truth is I wouldn't change a thing. Not one single thing. Not the bad and most definitely not the good. You kn_ ow _I was never the nicest person but I don't regret that. What I regret is that I didn't flight for you when I had the chance. So first things first, don't you dare morn me, don't you dare waist your time with should haves, would haves, and could haves because I am not_ worth that. _I know you think I am, you're the only person that ever made me feel worth something, made me want to be better not because I wasn't good enough but because with you I could be a better version of myself that I actually liked. I don't want you to be sad I never want you to be sad especially when I'm not there to hold you. All I'm asking is for you to remember the good. Remember that I would rather live a week with you that live a thousand years and have not known_ you. _I should have said it everyday, Primus knows I was thinking it. So here it goes._

 _Blades, you are the biggest aft I have ever met, you're loud, rude and possibly a psychopath and also the kindest, most forgive, supportive, most beautiful person  to have ever held a knife to my throat, and wherever I am, wherever you are remember_   _that I love you. I love you so so much and I need you to promise me that you're not going to live your life by fear, I want you to be brave, be strong. I know you are and I know maybe you'll miss me but don't worry I'll see ya on the other side someday,_

_Yours, Slingshot._

**Author's Note:**

> uch idk might make some changes dun know if i like the ending but idfk i imagine Blades getting up, wiping his tears, punching Slingshot/Superion's arm and soldiering on but ya know w/e like


End file.
